Ask A Ninja - Montreal Head Coach
Borat - Montreal Press
Chris Moltisanti - Montreal Farm Assistant Coach
Cheech Marin - Montreal Scout / Ambasador
Captain Jean Luc Picard
- Montreal Assistant Coach
R2-D2 - Montreal Equipment Manager
Tony Soprano - Montreal Farm Coach
Yoda - Montreal Head Trainer
Currently no staff hired by New York management
Terry Carkner - Toronto Farm Assistant Coach
Don Cherry - Toronto Motivational Coach / Director of Public Relations
Ron Hextall - Toronto Goaltender Coach
Alex Lennon - Toronto Farm Head Coach
Nick Lennon - Toronto Head Coach
Hakan Loob - Toronto Head Scout For Places With Hockey Players
My Mommy - Eric Lindros' Personal Physician
Dr. Phil - Toronto Team Physician
James Rolfe, The Angry Video Game Nerd - Toronto Press Secretary
Dave Schultz - Toronto Assistant Coach
Rick Tocchet - Toronto Accounting VP
You Dee - Toronto Team Mascot (Guy in the Logo)
CLAWS - Chicago Mascot
Mark Cuban - Chicago Board of Directors
Elen DeGeneres - Chicago Board of Directors
Popeye Doyle - Chicago Head Coach
Daffy Duck - Chicago Colour Commentary
James Duthie - Chicago Broadcasts Host
Don Edwards - Chicago Goaltending Coach and Scout
Janet Gretzky - Chicago Head of Hockey Operations
Kelly Hrudey - Chicago Farm Assistant Coach
Gail King - Chicago Farm Head Coach
Stephen King - Chicago Press
Candy Lovelace - Chicago Minor League Scout
Greg Maddux - Chicago Assistant Coach
Manny The Mountie - Chicago Farm Team Mascot
Mickey Mouse - Chicago Head of Scouting
Mike Myers - Chicago Farm Assistant Coach
Tito Ortiz - Chicago Fighting Coach
Anthony Robbins - Chicago Play-by-Play Announcer
Chris Rock - Chicago Board of Directors
O.J. Simpson - Chicago Public Relations
Donald Trump - Chicago CEO
Oprah Winfrey - Chicago Assistant Coach
Bob Barker - Vancouver Press Secretary
Richard Broduer – Vancouver Goaltenders Coach
Jiri Bubla - Vancouver Farm Asst. Coach
Jack Crabb (aka: Little Big Man) - Vancouver Chief Scout
Leonardo Da Vinci – Vancouver Equipment Manager
Susie Derkins – Vancouver Head Coach
Orland Kurtenbach - Vancouver Farm Asst. Coach
Don Lever - Trondheim Traducers (Vancouver Farm) Head Coach
Jim Robson – Vancouver Press (Game’s Play-by-Play on 'Peace-nick Internet Radio)
Darcy Rota - Vancouver Asst. Coach
Stan Smyl - Vancouver Asst. Coach
Patrick Sundstrom - Vancouver Asst. Coach
Peter Trainor – Los Angeles Team President
Mike Foligno – Los Angeles Head Coach
Pat Verbeek - Los Angeles Assistant Coach
Billionaire Mark Burgess (aka: BMB, Big Mountain Bubba) – Los Angeles Press & Assist. GM
Gary Coupal - Los Angeles Farm Team Press
Armando Alejandro Estrada - Los Angeles Press:
Pre-Game and Intermission Host
Jimmy Fallon - Los Angeles Awards Presenter
Dr. Mark Galbraith - Los Angeles Team Doctor
Bobby Jones - Los Angeles Farm Head Coach
Ashton Kutcher - Los Angeles Farm Assistant Coach & Camel Dung Scooper
Bart Simpson – Los Angeles Staff Nuclear Physicist
Ron Tugnutt - Los Angeles Press and Goalie Coach
Paul Bearer – Los Angeles Kryptogenetic Equipment Manager
Connor Trainor – Los Angeles Stickboy
Marty "The Boogeyman" Wright - Los Angeles Team Enforcer
Avril Lavigne - Los Angeles Anthem Singer Sept 27,1984
Mrs. Lynn Trainor - Los Angeles Wolverine Girls Cheerleaders Captain
Jessica Biel - Los Angeles Wolverine Girls Cheerleaders March 3,1982
Stacy Kiebler - Los Angeles Wolverine Girls Cheerleaders October 15,1979
Ali Landry - Los Angeles Wolverine Girls Cheerleaders July 21,1973
Rachel Ray - Los Angeles Wolverine Girls Cheerleaders / Team Cook August 28, 1968
Eva Longoria – Los Angeles Wolverine Girls Cheerleaders March 15, 1975
Kristin Cavallari – Los Angeles Wolverine Girls Cheerleaders January 14, 1987
Alyssa Milano – Los Angeles Wolverine Girls Cheerleaders December 19, 1972
Tara Reid - Los Angeles Wolverine Girls Cheerleaders November 8,1975
Tiffani Thiessen - Los Angeles Wolverine Girls Cheerleaders Sept 23,1974
Kirsten Dunst - Los Angeles Wolverine Girls Cheerleaders April 30, 1982
Jessica Alba - Los Angeles Wolverine Girls Cheerleaders April 28, 1981
Dave Babych - Mexico City Head Coach
Bennie - Mexico City Farm Press
Dale Hawerchuk - Mexico City Farm Head Coach
Phil Ingin - Mexico City Press
Midget In A Sombrero - Mexcio City Press
The Guy In A Big Foam Taco - Promotions Director
Hector Vasquez The Worlds Skinniest Mexican - Mexico City Strength & Conditioning Coach
Currently no staff hired by Cairo Managment
Tutankhamun Frycer - Cairo Press
Joe Canale - Santiago Farm Assistant Coach
Joey Kocur - Santiago Conflict Resolution Coach
Alex Delvecchio - Santiago Head Coach
Craig Hartsberg - Santiago Chief Scout
Ted Lindsay- Santiago Farm Head Coach
Trapper John MacIntyre MD - Santiago Team Doctor
Senorita Sassy - Santiago Press
Steve Shutt - Santiago Assistant Coach
Kent Brockman - Cape Town Farm Team Press
C. Montgomery Burns - Cape Town Team Presisdent
Chef - Team Cook
Ghost Of Ivan Hlinka - Cape Town Head Coach
Julius Irving - Cape Town Team Doctor
Jeff Jimmerson - Cape Town National Anthems Singer
Quayle Man - Cape Town Mascot
Joey Mullen - Cape Town Farm Head Coach
Joe Negry - Team Handyman and Jazz Guitarist
Michael J. Nelson - Cape Town Vice President
Nick Perry - Draft Lottery Specialist
Mike Greenlay - Rio Goaltending Coach
Pete Park - Rio Press
Brent Sutter - Rio Head Coach
Brian Sutter - Rio Director of Player Personnel and Development
Darryl Sutter - Rio Asst. GM, Director of Hockey Operations
Duane Sutter - Rio Farm Head Coach
Rich Sutter - Rio Head of Pro Scouting
Ron Sutter - Rio Director of Amature Scouting
Frederick Brindamour – Havana Goaltending Coach
Vladim Chebaturkin – Havana Assistant Coach
Dave Chyzowski – Havana Assistant Coach
Patrick Flatley - Havana Pro Scout
Greg Gilbert - Havana Pro Scout
Clark Gillies - Havana Pro Scout
Darren Hall – Havana Stick Boy
Lorne Henning - Havana Amateur Scout
Garry Howatt - Havana Pro Scout
Tomas Jonsson - Havana European Scout
Steve Junker - Havana Farm Head Coach
Anders Kallur - Havana European Scout
Gord Lane - Havana Amateur Scout
Dave Langevin - Havana Pro Scout
Wayne Merrick - Havana Amateur Scout
Ken Morrow - Havana Pro Scout
Roger Nielsen - Havana Head Coach
Bob Nystrom - Havana Pro Scout
John Tonelli - Havana Amateur Scout
Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf - Havana Press Secretary
Cathrine Bell - Stockholm Ratz-Tails Cheerleaders
Jayson Blair – Stockholm Press
Charisma Carpenter - Honorary Ratz-Tails Cheerleader
Lacey Chabert - Stockholm Ratz-Tails Cheerleaders
Cindy Crawford - Stockholm Ratz-Tails Cheerleaders Coach
Cameron Diaz - Stockholm Ratz-Tails Cheerleaders
Carmen Electra - Stockholm Ratz-Tails Cheerleaders
Jennifer Esposito – Head Stockholm Ratz-Tails Cheerleaders Captain
Sarah Michelle Gellar – Stockholm Ratz-Tails Cheerleaders
A Swedish Midget with NO PANTS! - Stockholm Press Secretary
Angelina Jolie - Stockholm Ratz-Tails Cheerleaders
Cam Neely – Stockholm Head Coach & Team President
Rabalder Rat – Stockholm Co-Head Mascot
Rummel Rat – Stockholm Co-Head Mascot
Stig Salming – Stockholm Farm Coach
Jessica Simpson - Stockholm Ratz-Tails Cheerleaders
Dr Zoidberg - Stockholm Team Surgeon
Scotty Bowman - London Assistant Scoreboard Manager
J
iri Crha (AKA: Jerry Craw) - London Goaltenders Coach
David Frost - London Press
Anders Hedberg - London Assistant Coach
Bob Leslie - London Farm Assistant Coach
Lucy Liu - London Correspondent
Ted Nolan – London Scoreboard Manager
PAF - London Poor "Aces" Fan
Walt Poddobny - London Farm Coach
Dr. Nick Riviera - London Team Doctor
Greg Terrion - London Head Scout
Jody Vance - London Correspondent
Johnnie Walker - London Head Coach
Maximima Astrophie - Moscow Assistant Coach
Halle Berry - Moscow Team Cheerleader
Hilary Duff - Moscow Broadcasts Intermission Co-Host
Erica Durance - Moscow Broadcasts Intermission Co-Host
Kristin Kreuk - Moscow Team Cheerleader
Evangeline Lilly - Moscow Team Cheerleader
Rachel McAdams - Moscow Press
Courtney Paz - Moscow Press
Grigory Rasputin - Moscow Head Coach
Stephane Richer - Moscow Video Technician and Talent Scout
Patrick Roy - Moscow Farm Goalie Coach
Vladislav Tretiak - Moscow Farm Head Coach
John Vanbiesbrouck - Moscow Assistant Coach
Mike Richter - Moscow Goaltender's Coach
Maximus Aurelius – Rome Mascot
Turk Broda – Rome Head Coach
Jacques Lemaire – Rome Assistant Coach
Barney Gumble – Rome Co-Equipment Manager
Chance Harvey - Rome Farm Head Coach
Ashley Judd – Rome Trainer
Lou Lamoriello – Rome Assistant Scout
Doug McKenzie – Rome Press
Lou Nanne – Rome Scouting Director
Cory Muesing – Rome Assistant Scout
Robb Stauber - Rome Goaltending Coach
Homer Simpson – Rome Co-Equipment Manager
Dr. Nick Simpson – Rome Team Doctor
Tony Esposito - Prague Farm Head Coach
Dale Hunter - Prague Assistant Coach
Brian "Killer" Kilrea - Prague Head Coach
Bob "Hockey Insider" MacKenzie - Prague Press
Paulie Walnuts - Prague Farm GM
Alessandra Ambrosio - Berlin Farm Press
Bianca Beauchamp - Berlin Teddy's Cheerleading Squad
Dino Ciccarelli - Berlin North American Scout
Vida Guerra - Berlin Teddy's Cheerleading Squad
Keeley Hazell - Berlin Teddy's Cheerleading Squad Captain
Jennifer Love Hewitt - Berlin Player Morale & Stamina
Heidi Klum - Berlin Press
Pat Lafontaine - Berlin Head Talent Scout
Rick Middleton - Berlin Farm Head Coach
Esa Tikkanen - Berlin European Scout
August Von Finck - Berlin Team Owner
Steve Yzerman - Berlin Head Coach
Jennifer Aniston - Taipei Tighties Cheerleaders
Baloo - Taipei Equipment Manager
Jacqueline Bisset - Taipei Tighties Cheerleaders
Mr. Bean - Taipei TV Broadcast Colour Commentator
Capt. William Bligh - Taipei Farm Head Coach
Brandi Chastain - Taipei Head Conditioning Trainer
Maria Grazia Cucinotta - Taipei Tighties Cheerleaders
Mr. Dressup - Taipei Statistician & Jersey Designer
Ken Dryden - Taipei Farm Team GM & S.C.I. Board Member
Alan Eagleson - Taipei Legal Counsel
Mr. Easton - Taipei GM
Dr. Sigmund Freud - Taipei Sports Psychologist
Mike Gartner - Taipei TWMHL Davis Division Scout
Thomas Gradin - Taipei Co-Head Coach (Sweden National Team Co-Head Coach)
Daryl Hannah - Taipei Tighties Cheerleaders
Captain Kevin Hatcher - Taipei Chief Scout
Roland Hedley - Taipei Farm Team Press
Elizabeth Hurley - Taipei Tighties Cheerleaders
Salma Hyack - Taipei Tighties Cheerleaders
Catherine Zeta Jones - Taipei Tighties Cheerleaders
Nastassja Kinski - Taipei Tighties Cheerleaders
Keira Knightley -Taipei Special Assistant To GM Easton
Anna Kournikova - Taipei Tighties Cheerleaders
Tea Leone - Taipei Tighties Cheerleaders
Jennifer Lopez - Taipei Tighties Cheerleaders
Sophie Marceau - Taipei Tighties Cheerleaders
Demi Moore - Taipei Press
Dr. Leonard "Bones" McCoy - Taipei Bench Trainer
Mowgli - Taipei Stick-Boy
Andrei Nikolishin - Taipei
TWMHL Sarandon Division
Scout
Sinead O’Connor - Taipei National Anthems Singer
Joel Otto - Taipei
TWMHL Redford Division
Scout
Pucky The Puck-Head - South China Sea Taipans Mascot
Montgomery Python - CEO of Slithering Communications Inc.
Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman - Taipei Team Orthopedic Specialist
Gabriella Sabatini - Taipei Tighties Cheerleaders
Maria Schneider - Taipei Tighties Cheerleaders
Slithering Communications Inc. – Majority Owners of The Taipei Typhoons
Harold Snepsts - Taipei
TWMHL Newman Division
Scout
Dr. Strangelove - Taipei Team Surgeon
Anatoly Tarasov - Taipei Farm Assistant Coach (Russia National Team Asst. Coach)
Alexander Yakushev - Taipei Co-Head Coach (Russia National Team Head Coach)
N. Berwick - Singapore Trainer
Ray Bourque - Singapore Head Coach
Conrad Brean - Public Relations Director
Doug Brown - Singapore Pro-Global Scout
Ko Chun - Singapore Minor League Development Scout
Alicia Clark - Singapore Press
Audrey Dunn - Singapore Physiotherapist
Danielle Goyette - Singapore Farm Head Coach
Kristina Groves - Singapore Skating & Conditioning Coach
Dr. Setsuko Hara - Singapore Team Doctor
Guo Hong – Singapore Farm Associate Coach
Michael William Horton - Singapore Medical Staff
Lit "The General" Law - Singapore Research & Development
Pierre Mondou – Singapore Assistant Director of Player Personel
John Ogrodnick - Singapore Pro-Global Scout
John Paris Jr. - Singapore Assistant GM & Director of Player Personel
Barry Smith - Singapore Farm Associate Coach
Tiia Reima - Singapore Assistant Coach
Sanjay R. Sharda - Singapore Owner and GM
Mike Vernon - Singapore Assistant Coach
Jessica Yang - Singapore Team President
Yukie Yubari - Singapore Medical Staff
Jim Carr – Melbourne Press Secretary
Mikhail Tatarinov - Melbourne Farm Assistant Coach
Peter Laviolette - Melbourne Assistant Coach
The Hanson Bros. (Band) – Melbourne Directors of Player Development
Sergei Mylnikov
- Melbourne Goaltending Coach
David Littman - Melbourne Farm Goaltending Coach
Adrien Plavsic - Melbourne Farm Assistant Coach
Malcolm – Melbourne Zamboni Driver
Dan Trebil - Melbourne Assistant Coach
Borje Salming – Melbourne Assistant GM
Secretariat - Melbourne Head Coach
Dave Snuggerud - Melbourne Farm Head Coach
Al Franken - Hong Kong Press
Herb Brooks - Hong Kong Farm Head Coach
China National Petrolium - Hong Kong Team Sponsors
Eastman-Kodak - Hong Kong Farm Owners & Sponsors
Larry Davidson - Hong Kong Zamboni Driver
Long Duc Dong - Hong Kong Trainer
Sum Yung Guy - Hong Kong Trainer
Benny Hill - Hong Kong Farm Equipment Manager
Hutchison-Wampoa - Hong Kong Team Sponsors
Mike Lang -
Hong Kong Radio Announcer
Em Ling -
Hong Kong TV Announcer
Mark Madden -
Hong Kong Farm TV Announcer
Microsoft Corp. - Hong Kong Farm Sponsors
Chip Neeves - Hong Kong Head Coach
Nine Dragons Paper Holdings Ltd. - Hong Kong Team Sponsors
Jack Parker - Hong Kong Farm Assistant Head Coach
Jim Perry - Hong Kong Farm Trainer
Stan Severan -
Hong Kong Radio Announcer
Ming Ling Singh - Hong Kong Equipment Manager
Jay Soduko - Hong Kong TV Announcer
Tim "The Toolman" Taylor - Hong Kong Farm Zamboni Driver
Michel Terrien - Hong Kong Assistant Coach
Toyota Motor Co. -
Hong Kong Team Sponsors
Bobby Valvano - Hong Kong Farm TV Announcer
Zhang Yin - Hong Kong Owner
Guy Carbonneau - Calcutta Farm Head Coach
Priyanka Chopra - Calcutta Training Staff
Bob Gainey - Calcutta Head Coach
Rick Green - Calcutta Assistant Coach
Kirk Muller - Calcutta Farm Assistant Coach
Mats Naslund - Calcutta Assistant Coach
Aishwarya Rai - Calcutta Training Staff
Lisa Ray - Calcutta Training Staff
Homer J Singh - Calcutta Press Secretary
Pressbar Singh - Calcutta Farm Press Secretary
Gimli the Dwarf – Tokyo Zamboni Driver
Tony Granato - Tokyo Assistant Coach
Vladimir Krutov - Tokyo Head Chef
Igor Larionov - Tokyo Head Coach
Bill Simmons – Tokyo Press
Connor MacLeod – Tokyo Senior Head-Scout
Duncan MacLeod – Tokyo Junior Head-Scout
Sergei Makarov – Tokyo Farm Head Coach
Tiger - Tokyo Mascot
Dr. Zhivago – Tokyo Team Doctor
LEAGUE STAFF:
Mrs. Julian Hedworth George Byng (aka: Lady Byng)
El Cid – League Appointed Acting GM (w/o position)
HAL – TWHL Head Offices (somewhat fickle) Super-computer - Retired
HAL-TOO - TWHL Head Offices (equally fickle) Super-computer
HAL-III TWHL Head Offices (fuckle-many-money-fickle) Super-computer
Marty McSorely – TWHL League Disciplinarian, Troubleshooter and Arbitrator
The Spirit of Jim Morrison – TWHL Press
Friedrich Nietzsche - League Appointed Acting GM (w/o position)
Anton Stastny - League Appointed Acting GM (w/o position)
Jimmy Waite - TWHL Press - Special Assignments
Roger Waters – TWHL Press Secretary
wnt - A crazy albanian guy who registered the twhl channels in mIrc for us
so they are always there for trade talks and future draft
